You get a chance to look back, maybe with a little more accuracy than most, and see where you came from, where you have been, and how far you have come. Even though I have always had a camera, I would not have called myself a photographer until a few years ago. Before that I was like most, working a regular job, making a regular paycheck, full of predictability...and it was killing me. Literally. In my last two years at my "normal" corporate job, I spent more time in bathrooms, doctor's offices, and eventually the hospital, when my employer caused me to have my first ever panic attack, and they had to take me away in an ambulance. Shortly after, I lost my job, and it saved my life. That was three years ago, and I was reborn. These ravens were one of my first shots that started me thinking I was in the wrong line of work, that working for the almighty dollar, rather than a purposeful life is a waste of my time. And I mean that literally, it was wasting my time. That is something I have learned, that time is the only truly valuable commodity that one has, because we can never earn more.
Money is great, and a necessary evil, but when you are facing your death, what is it's value then? Time, on the other hand, is priceless. In about two weeks time, my first featured artist show will take place, and it isn't the last, others are scheduled, and I am beyond excited. It is a struggle sometimes, much of the time, actually, and my financial security is not what it once was, and I worry, oh yes, I worry, but I AM happy, and there isn't enough money in the world to buy that from me. I am grateful everyday, that I was given the opportunity to see that I was following the wrong dream, someone else's dream. I broke a wing, and when it healed, I flew away from the comfort and security of the nest we are all told we should live in, and set my sights on the unknown. It is scary, and thrilling, and seems to find a way of working out everyday, and now I know my time is no longer being wasted.
A fellow artist once said to me, "To not follow your calling, is to deprive the world of your true energy. It is a selfish act, and it doesn't serve anyone, including yourself." Truth.